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Hurt People Hurt People

This saying has been going around in so many circles that it makes my head spin. Whether the rich want to be richer by way of manipulating people’s emotions, or the empathic want to spread love to those who need love to gain more empathy themselves, one thing is made certain, God takes note of the heart, not man. It is not our place; however, it is important to recognize that he does not want us to be treated as doormats, so he gave us discernment. How strong is your discernment in this area of life? Let us look at a couple examples and see. In the case of a missing parent the term may suggest that the parent in question is a hurt individual and therefore inflicting their hurt onto those they are not around by being absent. Discernment would then teach us that it is more probable that having the parent around could cause more harm than good and allowing the parent to be “missing” would be in the best interest of the child (still loving and praying from afar while possessing healthy boundaries). On the flip side, if someone has the direct intention (whatever their motive) to come into someone’s life simply to inflict hurt and/or pain then they are not only perpetuating more hurt and unnecessary psychological damage but breaking down someone’s faith and love they already maintain. Side note: Many may argue that someone who has faith would not be shaken from it. It does not matter how strong you feel your faith is, Jesus warned us that we will ALL fall short. No one is indestructible and to think otherwise is very dangerous. He himself threw tables in upset over how people were behaving (if you do not know where that is then I urge you to read your bible), would we not get to that point as well? Are you a better human than Jesus? I certainly am not. Back to the example: It is cruel to believe that you should put yourself in a situation that God has shown not healthy for you, and those that attempt to come around with continued UNHEALED hurt are essentially mocking God (not just you). How do we know if they are unhealed or not? Time and discernment. There are gangs of people out there using this well-known phrase to their advantage (again, for whatever their motive) and making a living wage on it while also betting on the idea that kindhearted people will support them. Guess what, they are right because kindhearted people do support each other, and God-fearing ones know how to discern (by his confirmation) who those people are and/or when to get closer to them. Can God’s people be misled? Of course, and God will walk them through that fire and out to the other side, but why go through something that he did not intend on having you learn from in the first place? Maybe you already learned that lesson? I may be wrong (because I am an imperfect human) however I believe that it is VERY important to have a healthy sense of ego. This is not to say be egotistical, and this is not to say to be devoid of ego all together. I came to this conclusion because of the problem I see in our culture right now. It is that people feel the need to be on one side or the other. Why? We all must live here RIGHT NOW. That is not being on the fence with faith in God, that is having the faith that God will handle it better than my skewed knowledge of it. So, it would make more sense to take notice of both sides and allow things to play out in the way that God oversees. Do you believe you ARE God, or simply have God within you? Do you feel hurt people deserve to be loved even while dealing with their hurt? What about continuing to hurt to the point of spreading their hurt to you and/or others? Do you feel your faith is strong enough to handle what God put in front of you? Have you discerned that what is in front of you is for you, or is that your will? Do hurt people hurt other people? Sometimes. Can and should you love those that hurt? Always. Do you need to accept someone into your life that is hurting? If you choose to. Do you need to accept someone inflicting hurt into your life? The answer to that should be taken to God.

How much should they know?

I took a leap back into the corporate world for a short time, listening to the idea that it could be temporary and that the build of security in finances and retirement would do me good.

What I’ve learned is that it has not changed from being a cutthroat/competitive and number driven environment. As a matter of fact it is worse. The amount of people who have access to your personal information and ability to stop, block, or alter anything they want in those areas are on a larger scale than they were 10 years ago.

It’s extremely sad to me that as a society we have to walk around armed at all times, knowing that if someone doesn’t like the way you said something (regardless of the intention), they could have power over your life. Let’s think about that for a second.

Terry has lots of friends and connections to different areas of business. They all like her and would do things for her because of that fact.
She meets Rosa and they get along fine but Rosa is a bit standoffish because she takes her time to get to know people. Terry doesn’t understand why she isn’t instantly liked and complains to a friend about it. That friend takes it upon herself to look into Rosa’s background and/or finances. Her thought process was maybe this individual has something to hide. So, she goes about her investigation. (Which is perfectly legal today through the internet). She then shares the information she has found with Terry. Here comes the first question: Is this appropriate?
Second: Does it matter what was seen, should she be sharing personal information about another persons life? It states on most websites not to do so, however it still happens, that’s just a fact.

Let’s face another fact right now. We have ALL made mistakes, bad decisions, and had to learn lessons in life….that does not make a bad PERSON, it just means the person is human. However, the way information is presented can play a part in how someone is perceived by another.

Let’s go back to our example again, what if a third friend was around Terry when being told the information on Rosa’s past. Would that be considered gossip or just concerned friends? What if they unknowingly talked about Rosa in front of someone who was getting ready to provide assistance or a job opportunity to her. Could that potentially ruin the image that Rosa showed of herself (the best self, not the mistakes she’s made in the past)? Would that change your choice of whether it is gossip or not? Should they feel bad if they impacted her chances at a better future because of discussing her past? In this scenario no one truly knows her well enough to see if she has learned from her past.

That brings me to these questions: How much information is too much information to learn about someone before connecting on different levels? Does working with someone entitle you to know about all aspects of their life? Why?

Somethings to consider: If someone is working with money and finances, does it make sense to see whether the individual has a history of bankruptcy and/or charges of fraud, embezzlement? I would say yes. I would also say that how a person handles their own money is not a employers business (especially if they do not pay a decent portion of financial support towards their living expenses), but I can see where they may have concern (whether from a sense of empathy or self preservation of their business).

What do you think? How much information should be shared between friends? What about on a business level? Do people have a sense of separation from friends and business? Should they?

She had light in her eyes

For a brief moment in time we get to know individuals and see the spirit that they carry
Sometimes it’s painful to watch as they struggle, sometimes it’s beautiful to see the light in their eyes
When they are no longer with us, it’s easy to be taken over by emotion
My heart aches today as I only got to know my friend for such a short time
I’m so grateful that suffering did not carry on but how I wish she could have had more joy before the end

Money, Power, and Gratitude. Do they work together?

The schemes that people use to get ahead (seeking money and power) can easily be put into practice when they use unsuspecting individuals that “do as they’re told” without the knowledge or experience to question what’s happening.

I see this in the workplace today. There are individuals who are treated as Kings and Queens simply because they hold the pen to the paycheck.

These individuals will employ people who are grateful to have a job, not understanding the true value they offer to the company itself.

They are asked to do things that are not always within their abilities, provided the necessary resources to make it happen, nor paid the salaries that someone with the knowledge or background should be making!

Based on the knowledge that this is happening in multiple industries, my question is this….”What the H-E-double hockey sticks is the government really doing about it?”

Next question “Does every industry need a union to protect its workers these days?”

Another “Should it need to set off activism before we see change, or is the government going to take a proactive part instead of being reactive in our own country?”

I would love answers. Anyone else? I know I am not the only one seeing this. I also know that whether our unemployment rate is going down or not, this is still an issue…..so what has really changed?

Anyone?

Are you ready for what you want?

Is it time that is lacking or the ambition and motivation that stop you from making the change necessary for the joy you are seeking?

Have you found yourself trapped in a cycle of stagnation?

Sometimes asking the question is the first step into that breakthrough.
Ask yourself, “What around me needs to change, or be removed, to get one step closer to my next goal?”

Second question can be, “Can I make this change on my own, or do I need to reach out for help?”

There are long lists of resources out there to help you achieve whatever it is you are aiming for.

The last question to ask yourself is this, “Am I ready to take the steps necessary to achieve what it is I want?”

If your answer is yes, GO GET IT! Take that leap! What do you have to lose?
The worst case scenario is you fall down and have to dust off the dirt. So you head down another path…..and you still have the experience to learn from….still a win in my eyes.
Take the step. Head in the direction you see yourself. Make your energy worth the time used, not the time using all your energy.

Emotional abuse, what do YOU do?

Have you ever felt the sadness inflicted on you by another person, just moments after you’ve made a stride and felt great? Maybe you have watched a friend or family member endure this type of scenario.
This is the definition of emotional abuse.
When suffering with such abuse people turn to many things: Spirituality, Therapy, Creativity, and even self-destructive measures (drugs and alcohol).
When these things no longer bring relief, what do you suggest while watching someone struggle with this lifestyle?
Do you offer support?
Do you give them resources to reach out to?

Do you stay silent?

Is it time to step in and step up? How involved is too involved in another’s life these days?

Think about it

Can You See Beyond Your Walls?

Many people today are working so hard in their jobs that they don’t have time to see outside, to recognize what is going on from a larger spectrum.

This can be thought of in a deeper way as well. Do we take the time to look at our lives (not just our jobs/careers) to see what is going on from others perspectives? Or notice the little things around us that we maybe missing out on?

Some people may think this is a “hippie dippie” attitude or scoff at the idea itself, and I’m here to say….it is the answer to maintaining a sense of peace that the rat-race will never provide.

Studies have shown that working until you fall over is not only counter productive but it is also making us sick.

Taking a step back (even when you feel everything will fall apart if you do), is sometimes the only way to let go of the idea that YOU have to hold everything on your shoulders to get to a happier place and completion.

Of course there are times in life that are hard, and yes, we have to put in hard work to learn new things and grow…..but does that mean we should be working to the extent of complete exhaustion and/or panic and anxiety?

Try something new today

Take just five minutes (DO NOT LOOK AT THE CLOCK!) and breathe. Do nothing else.

At the very least, try to free your mind of anything you need to do…and enjoy the sunshine, smell a flower, really taste something that you enjoy. Five minutes. Remember to take time to jump out of your limited view and see/experience something else to help maintain joy in your life.

I hope this helps someone today.

Remember if you know of someone that struggles with mental illness or is just having a rough season in life, there is help out there.

At any time they (or yourself) can text 741741 for free assistance and someone to talk/text to. You may also type in NAMI to a search engine to help you find local resources to help out in times of need.

Look at the grass, do you walk on it?

Growing up we were taught to stay off people’s grass and to not pick flowers without permission from the owners of the property. There is a reason for this….

There are people who take pride in the place they dwell in. So much that they invest money, time, and effort into that area. The quote “the grass is greener where you water it” is true!

While you may be a person who would rather the pavement vs grass for the sake of not having to water or “invest” the time and energy, you should still take into account a broom (because any area can get messy), just make sure you don’t use it to turn into someone who would fly on it rather than care about how others feel about their property.

When you make a decision on where to stay, do you take into account the look of the environment or do you only care about pricing? Does this make a difference on how you choose to manage the area while you are there? (I.e. Would you clean up after yourself in a slum area or dump your garbage anywhere? Do you expect someone will come make your bed for you if you are paying enough for an individual to be paid to do those things?)

How do you feel about your environment? Do you need to invest more time, energy, and possibly finances to make it something to be proud of?

How can this be related to any area of your life? Think about it.