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Hurt People Hurt People

This saying has been going around in so many circles that it makes my head spin. Whether the rich want to be richer by way of manipulating people’s emotions, or the empathic want to spread love to those who need love to gain more empathy themselves, one thing is made certain, God takes note of the heart, not man. It is not our place; however, it is important to recognize that he does not want us to be treated as doormats, so he gave us discernment. How strong is your discernment in this area of life? Let us look at a couple examples and see. In the case of a missing parent the term may suggest that the parent in question is a hurt individual and therefore inflicting their hurt onto those they are not around by being absent. Discernment would then teach us that it is more probable that having the parent around could cause more harm than good and allowing the parent to be “missing” would be in the best interest of the child (still loving and praying from afar while possessing healthy boundaries). On the flip side, if someone has the direct intention (whatever their motive) to come into someone’s life simply to inflict hurt and/or pain then they are not only perpetuating more hurt and unnecessary psychological damage but breaking down someone’s faith and love they already maintain. Side note: Many may argue that someone who has faith would not be shaken from it. It does not matter how strong you feel your faith is, Jesus warned us that we will ALL fall short. No one is indestructible and to think otherwise is very dangerous. He himself threw tables in upset over how people were behaving (if you do not know where that is then I urge you to read your bible), would we not get to that point as well? Are you a better human than Jesus? I certainly am not. Back to the example: It is cruel to believe that you should put yourself in a situation that God has shown not healthy for you, and those that attempt to come around with continued UNHEALED hurt are essentially mocking God (not just you). How do we know if they are unhealed or not? Time and discernment. There are gangs of people out there using this well-known phrase to their advantage (again, for whatever their motive) and making a living wage on it while also betting on the idea that kindhearted people will support them. Guess what, they are right because kindhearted people do support each other, and God-fearing ones know how to discern (by his confirmation) who those people are and/or when to get closer to them. Can God’s people be misled? Of course, and God will walk them through that fire and out to the other side, but why go through something that he did not intend on having you learn from in the first place? Maybe you already learned that lesson? I may be wrong (because I am an imperfect human) however I believe that it is VERY important to have a healthy sense of ego. This is not to say be egotistical, and this is not to say to be devoid of ego all together. I came to this conclusion because of the problem I see in our culture right now. It is that people feel the need to be on one side or the other. Why? We all must live here RIGHT NOW. That is not being on the fence with faith in God, that is having the faith that God will handle it better than my skewed knowledge of it. So, it would make more sense to take notice of both sides and allow things to play out in the way that God oversees. Do you believe you ARE God, or simply have God within you? Do you feel hurt people deserve to be loved even while dealing with their hurt? What about continuing to hurt to the point of spreading their hurt to you and/or others? Do you feel your faith is strong enough to handle what God put in front of you? Have you discerned that what is in front of you is for you, or is that your will? Do hurt people hurt other people? Sometimes. Can and should you love those that hurt? Always. Do you need to accept someone into your life that is hurting? If you choose to. Do you need to accept someone inflicting hurt into your life? The answer to that should be taken to God.

George Jetson And The Robots Taking Jobs Continues. Look Out Salons

My son pointed out that yesterday was the day George Jetson was born. We already moved into the timeframe of “Back To The Future”, and tech companies have created what their visions were….we can now expect to have additional robots taking jobs away from people.
I just saw a machine do a manicure online. My question is “why!”? Why do we need the “cool machine” to do our nails? How many women are going to lose their careers because you decide it’s faster and convenient to use a machine?
Do you not enjoy relaxing every once and awhile to do something nice for yourself? Do you not care for your nail tech? Or the health of people who work in those positions?
Personally, I think my time at the salon is not only relaxing but therapeutic. Does your machine offer that?
You may look human after using a machine, your nails may be fire, but after your mentality has transitioned into the full-time “go,go,go” and hasn’t had time to recognize that YOU are living more like a robot as well….it may be too late to stop the progression. Just some food for thought. George Jetson has been born now.

What’s Left to Fight For When Hope is Lost?

What’s left to fight for?
They see all you do
Open the internet and you are caught in the web
Any wrong move could end in dread
From finances to finding where you live
They have it all, so there is nothing to give
The control has always been the plan
All the technology to do a full body scan
Who will be the last standing alive
Many depressed will look to the roof for a dive
Is there any heart left in the people
Even church folks have left under the tainted steeple
Gone are many hopes and dreams
How do we recover from a drowning in the ravine?

Selfish or Survival

Humans are not only selfish by nature but survivalists, whether in groups/communities/cliches/marriages or solo. For those that tend to run in smaller pacts I have this question: When the thought of reaching out to someone, do you find it selfish because that is what YOU feel at the moment? Or does it get put upon your spirit for a reason? Could it be a natural reaction to you or the other involved pulling on the spirit?

If we listen to the spirit that is pulling on us we should first discern what type of spirit it is. “Am I just lonely and need a friend to talk to that would not otherwise hear from me?”, we could ask ourselves. Maybe that is a life saving moment that needed to occur in order to keep surviving in a healthier way.

What about when it is not a survival need, but a selfish one. Not wanting to give up a connection to someone that you know is not a healthy relationship that you should be in can be toxic. Do you aim for survival or “tough it out” until you find that person you should be connecting with? What are the discerning factors?

In my life I have battled many things, still do. But, I’ve also got really great at figuring out when relationships are one sided. I tend to stay away from those because it never seems to last the lifetime that some relationships are built to do, and yet I have managed to keep hope and faith in one’s that I keep a distance from.

So, how do figure out which relationships are meant to stay or go? What type of assessment helps you decide? Does it matter if you have some kind of ties to the person (I.e. family, business, etc.)? How much time do you allow before removing yourself or giving it a fair go?

Comment below and let me know.

Protection

Have you ever met someone that puts their life in front of danger for the sake of the greater good? I bet you have, whether you know it or not. Think about the person.

Did you notice whether they have a stressed-out demeanor or if they have learned the art of peace? I recently interacted with someone that keeps me in awe.

Everyday I interact with this person he has a sincere smile on his face, he waves hello, and cheerfully goes out in the world to protect our state. His name is (for the sake of confidentiality) “The State Trooper”.

Mr. State Trooper has an infectious smile that brightens your day, while being visually armed and ready to defend at any second. It sounds impossible to have both at the same time, but he makes it work.

As he waves goodbye to start the day with a smile, he comes back with the same smile along with a story. Some stories are not as difficult to hear as others, but what gets me is this….

A man that just faced a known murderer in a shoot off (and winning the battle), should at the very least be emotionally, physically, and mentally exhausted beyond holding a smile….and yet, he happily stops to answer anyones questions with the sincere smile hidden within his eyes….because he loves his job. He TAKES care of us by TAKING down ones that are out to harm us, he actually CARES for us by showing his love and compassion for the work he does, and he GIVES of himself beyond what many have the capacity to do.

So, thank you to Mr. State Trooper, along with all that were involved in the crazy 3 week manhunt within our area. As a single woman and mother, it is important to me that you (as well as the others) are out helping keep our community safer for us to live freely.

Society Still Needs Kindness

I’ve been out talking to people wherever I go and the story remains the same. Society has not balanced out yet. Everyone is working hard at something and yet many are benefiting off others hard work. Why?

There are individuals who have degrees in areas of expertise that are working jobs that pay less than half their salaries to get by in this economy. They cannot even afford to pay back their loans that they made proper decisions to maintain after the perceived payout would come. My question is why?

According to the news updates in the last year or so, jobs are on the rise and unemployment should be continuing to decline as people take those jobs. However, the jobs that are available do not serve up the pay or benefits that are needed to maintain only one job (opposed to a career that many have invested money into). So in a rat race to keep up on bills and sleep, is there any other industry to jump into other than Health and Wellness?

I have always been an advocate for the Mental Health field and believe in therapy, as well as finding a good work vs. home life balance. Having said that, I also believe that whoever pushed the button on the focus to upscale health, over threw their shot. Especially when you add in the desire to legalize something that we all know impairs some peoples ability to be productive. (Do not misunderstand me, I believe in natural remedies and utilize what I can before pharmaceuticals, but I also understand the need for additional studies before jumping on the band wagon for ALL people). By focusing so intently in one area (health/wellness), you neglect the others.

The others (like proper income levels) now becoming dependent upon the one you want to show bias to, leaving the imbalance in society. So, how long will it take before the balance returns; I now wonder if it ever existed….hmmmm

I was raised to believe that if you worked hard, put in the effort, that it would pay off, and you could “climb the ladder” as it were. Did I see favoritism and oppression from time to time? Of course. There are people out there with hateful spirits that do not want to see others succeed or be happy. It’s sad and true. There are also people who still believe in helping, and can/will raise anyone up that puts in their effort. But we have now become a society that will either fight to the death to barely make it, or is already beaten down that they have given up and would rather be taken care of by the government.

Hand-outs can be nice and everyone loves free stuff from time to time, but if that is how you assume life is on a daily basis then nothing holds any value. It’s time to start understanding everyone’s place and the value they hold in those places. a balanced outlook in all industries is needed.

Labor work is extremely hard on our bodies and eventually breaks them down if they are not properly cared for and given the rest they need. They don’t always pay as well as they should nor do they always offer benefits that carry on after retirement to cover the extra costs of disabilities that are bound to people who remain on those positions throughout a lifetime. (I believe this is sometimes because those people hold such pride in their work that they “grin and bare it” rather than complain or come out of pocket for the care they need before it gets out of control). Then there’s the flip side…

Let’s talk: Schooling, corporate and/or admin work. While these things do not always cause the amount of physical disabilities in the long run, they can. I have watched many assistants go on leave for carpal tunnel surgery, issues with feet, neck/back issues from sitting or standing at computers for hours at a time and not having the proper stretch breaks. *(Which are made available by applications nowadays that can be easily installed on corporate computers, if the company cares enough about its employees to do so).

Don’t forget about the issue our country has on obesity. Whether home on disability, at a computer for hours only eating unhealthy snacks, or some other reason….these issues also come into play of how someone needs proper education on health, backed up by an employer (or for those on disability without employment: the government) for the financial assistance to pay for it!

I almost forgot – schooling. For ones who chose not to continue their schooling, maybe you hated it and couldn’t wait to get out. Do you remember why? Maybe it was hard, maybe it was exhausting.

For some, it is invigorating and their brains want to continue to absorb more information as they learn. Whichever end of the spectrum you sit on, IT IS still exhausting at a certain point. These individuals also sit at computers or books for long hours of the day, many not eating healthy foods because they can barely work part time while holding down the study hours and classes, etc., to keep up.

My point in breaking all this down is this: we all have daily battles AND life will throw extra stuff at us on top of it (family/relationship issues, etc.), so please don’t forget to keep your eyes open to the possibility that the world is unfair to everyone right now. We need to make sound judgement calls in life but before you judge another about what you perceive their position is in life, think.

The agenda that has been set for society is still not a balanced one, but I believe someday it will be and that hope and faith is what keeps me going. I hope for all of you that it will as well. As you go out today (or if you are home on disability/unemployment), I hope you take a moment to recognize that everyone has their own cross to bare and we need to be kind to one another as we carry them.

How much should they know?

I took a leap back into the corporate world for a short time, listening to the idea that it could be temporary and that the build of security in finances and retirement would do me good.

What I’ve learned is that it has not changed from being a cutthroat/competitive and number driven environment. As a matter of fact it is worse. The amount of people who have access to your personal information and ability to stop, block, or alter anything they want in those areas are on a larger scale than they were 10 years ago.

It’s extremely sad to me that as a society we have to walk around armed at all times, knowing that if someone doesn’t like the way you said something (regardless of the intention), they could have power over your life. Let’s think about that for a second.

Terry has lots of friends and connections to different areas of business. They all like her and would do things for her because of that fact.
She meets Rosa and they get along fine but Rosa is a bit standoffish because she takes her time to get to know people. Terry doesn’t understand why she isn’t instantly liked and complains to a friend about it. That friend takes it upon herself to look into Rosa’s background and/or finances. Her thought process was maybe this individual has something to hide. So, she goes about her investigation. (Which is perfectly legal today through the internet). She then shares the information she has found with Terry. Here comes the first question: Is this appropriate?
Second: Does it matter what was seen, should she be sharing personal information about another persons life? It states on most websites not to do so, however it still happens, that’s just a fact.

Let’s face another fact right now. We have ALL made mistakes, bad decisions, and had to learn lessons in life….that does not make a bad PERSON, it just means the person is human. However, the way information is presented can play a part in how someone is perceived by another.

Let’s go back to our example again, what if a third friend was around Terry when being told the information on Rosa’s past. Would that be considered gossip or just concerned friends? What if they unknowingly talked about Rosa in front of someone who was getting ready to provide assistance or a job opportunity to her. Could that potentially ruin the image that Rosa showed of herself (the best self, not the mistakes she’s made in the past)? Would that change your choice of whether it is gossip or not? Should they feel bad if they impacted her chances at a better future because of discussing her past? In this scenario no one truly knows her well enough to see if she has learned from her past.

That brings me to these questions: How much information is too much information to learn about someone before connecting on different levels? Does working with someone entitle you to know about all aspects of their life? Why?

Somethings to consider: If someone is working with money and finances, does it make sense to see whether the individual has a history of bankruptcy and/or charges of fraud, embezzlement? I would say yes. I would also say that how a person handles their own money is not a employers business (especially if they do not pay a decent portion of financial support towards their living expenses), but I can see where they may have concern (whether from a sense of empathy or self preservation of their business).

What do you think? How much information should be shared between friends? What about on a business level? Do people have a sense of separation from friends and business? Should they?

She had light in her eyes

For a brief moment in time we get to know individuals and see the spirit that they carry
Sometimes it’s painful to watch as they struggle, sometimes it’s beautiful to see the light in their eyes
When they are no longer with us, it’s easy to be taken over by emotion
My heart aches today as I only got to know my friend for such a short time
I’m so grateful that suffering did not carry on but how I wish she could have had more joy before the end

Money, Power, and Gratitude. Do they work together?

The schemes that people use to get ahead (seeking money and power) can easily be put into practice when they use unsuspecting individuals that “do as they’re told” without the knowledge or experience to question what’s happening.

I see this in the workplace today. There are individuals who are treated as Kings and Queens simply because they hold the pen to the paycheck.

These individuals will employ people who are grateful to have a job, not understanding the true value they offer to the company itself.

They are asked to do things that are not always within their abilities, provided the necessary resources to make it happen, nor paid the salaries that someone with the knowledge or background should be making!

Based on the knowledge that this is happening in multiple industries, my question is this….”What the H-E-double hockey sticks is the government really doing about it?”

Next question “Does every industry need a union to protect its workers these days?”

Another “Should it need to set off activism before we see change, or is the government going to take a proactive part instead of being reactive in our own country?”

I would love answers. Anyone else? I know I am not the only one seeing this. I also know that whether our unemployment rate is going down or not, this is still an issue…..so what has really changed?

Anyone?

Are you ready for what you want?

Is it time that is lacking or the ambition and motivation that stop you from making the change necessary for the joy you are seeking?

Have you found yourself trapped in a cycle of stagnation?

Sometimes asking the question is the first step into that breakthrough.
Ask yourself, “What around me needs to change, or be removed, to get one step closer to my next goal?”

Second question can be, “Can I make this change on my own, or do I need to reach out for help?”

There are long lists of resources out there to help you achieve whatever it is you are aiming for.

The last question to ask yourself is this, “Am I ready to take the steps necessary to achieve what it is I want?”

If your answer is yes, GO GET IT! Take that leap! What do you have to lose?
The worst case scenario is you fall down and have to dust off the dirt. So you head down another path…..and you still have the experience to learn from….still a win in my eyes.
Take the step. Head in the direction you see yourself. Make your energy worth the time used, not the time using all your energy.